The thing that I am most thankful for is all of the people who get me and appreciate me and love me.

To my co-workers, or rather, my fellow team members, the expression that I appear to wear at work can be misinterpreted as a scowl when really, it’s determination. I think if you’re around me long enough you understand that. Despite being my own brand of hypocrite, and having my own moments of contradiction and failed attempts at rising above, I am determined to be the best version of myself that I possibly can and I just want all of you to do and be the same because whether you or I like it or not, you all share a piece of my heart.

Except you.

You know who you are.

To my in-laws, you’ve all opened your arms to me wider than I could have ever asked for. Your daughter/sister/aunt surprised you all with her tale of this Canadian boy she had just met on the internet and was to smuggle across the border and spend the rest of her life with and while you may have had your reservations (because, come on, that’s crazy) you made a place in your hearts for me, just as I have for you.

Because, come on, we’re all a little crazy.

To my family, well, you don’t have much of a choice but to appreciate me because you’re my blood, but that doesn’t mean I think any of you feel obligated to love me. I know you love me because you want to and you can’t help it, just as I love you. You are my foundation, my basement, and no matter how much you may leak at times, you’ll always be the safest place to be during a storm.

Earthquakes though?

Not so much.

But that’s why I have a wife. An amazing, understanding, caring, thoughtful, patient, beautiful woman to be my doorway when the ground starts to shake. To be my beacon of light when the seas begin to churn. To be my sunshine when it rains one too many days in a row and my rain when there’s way too much sun. I am thankful that I couldn’t sleep for the nth time that night when I crossed paths with that adorable face of yours on Livejournal. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me and you will always be the best thing that will ever happen to me because for the rest of our lives, what happens to me is because of you and the person I strive to be because of you.

You aren’t just the world to me, you are the universe.

Ever expanding.

Always blowing my mind.

And I can’t wait to explore every millimetre of you for eternity, because lets face it, extraterrestrials even use the metric system.

Thank you for being you.

I love you.

And of course, even though she can’t read this, I can’t forget the sillyface monkey nose. You’re fluffy and adorable and one strange puppyface. You’re loyal and love me unconditionally because that’s just what puppies do. I strongly believe that if you knew what a gun was, you’d be the first to take a bullet for me, and that, my canine friend, is love.

The above image was posted by a friend from my hometown who is a part of a wonderful organization that you can visit here. The image was posted on their facebook page, but it wasn’t clear whether it was posted by someone seeking justice or by the miscreants themselves.

Regardless of the intent, my first reaction was that I wanted to take a thousand mile trip to find them and exercise the possibility of becoming a vigilante. You’ve seen Dexter and The Boondock Saints? Yeah, I’m on the titular characters’ sides.

Fairly quickly, though, my blood came back down to a simmer and I came to some conclusions. First, and obviously, these two need to suffer consequences for their actions. Some who don’t place animals very high on their list of things to care much about may disagree, but in the realm of all things right and wrong, by my definition of the terms, this leans pretty far toward the former. Seeking justice, however, is not my intention for sharing this. My intention is that all of you who see this spread it around to shed light on the real issue: parenting.

Time and time again whether I’m watching the news or watching the action take place first hand, I can’t help but conclude that the biggest issue in America (and the world, for that matter) is piss poor parenting. The government seems to like to spend so much money and time worrying about things like the war on drugs and gun violence when what they should really be worrying about is why these kids are turning to drugs and guns in the first place and attempting to fix that.

And what that is is your inability to steer your children in the right direction.

I know, I know. I’m not a parent. I don’t know how difficult it is to make sure that my child flies straight and doesn’t get into a lot of trouble. I don’t realize how much influence my child’s friends have on them. I don’t realize how difficult it is to find that balance to where I’m making sure I’m keeping an eye on my kid and keeping them from making poor choices but not pressuring them into a rebellious state. I don’t know how hard it is to provide for my family and still have the energy to be the best parent I can.

Whatever.

That all might be true, but what I do know about children is that if you give them enough love and attention and positive encouragement and you’re there for them and you’re making sure that your actions are those you want to see them emulate, they’re going to turn out a lot better than if you’re practicing the complete opposite of all of those things.

To address the picture, if these two had some kind of positive influence in their lives when they were growing up, they would not be going to such extreme measures to seek attention. They would not be so heartless to turn to animal cruelty to get a rise out of people. They would be caring and compassionate towards all living things because their parents taught them to care for and respect the world around them.

Unfortunately they had none of those things and while yes, they are clearly old enough to make their own choices, they have no foundation to even begin to care to make other choices. They choose to be brutal and destructive and hateful because any other choice would go against who they’ve grown up to be which is a direct result of having terrible influence.

So please, take some time and evaluate your ideas of right and wrong and whether or not you want to pass these ideals along to future generations. Take a look at the person you really are and decide whether or not you need to be a better version of yourself so that your child can be the best version of them self. Assess the direction of your moral compass and make sure that it’s pointing toward safety and not danger.

Our children may be our future, one we hope to be bright, but we are the ones who make sure that these children shine.

They say that you learn something new every day.

Wanna know what I learnt today?

That the African Western Black Rhino went extinct.

Image courtesy of CNN.

Really?

I mean, seriously? Animals are still going extinct?

Wait, what’s that? A quarter of all mammals are at risk of extinction?

A QUARTER?!

We ought to be fucking ashamed of ourselves.

Each and every one of us who do nothing to preserve the life of other species on this planet deserve to feel completely and utterly ashamed. We deserve to feel not like we’ve made someone angry, but that we’ve appalled and completely disappointed them.

We deserve to feel like we’re going to vomit every last bit of our insides all over the floor because we’re that sick and disgusted with ourselves.

I mean, this seriously pushes me over the edge.

Sure, a huge part of the problem still rests on the shoulders of poachers in undeveloped countries who are under the impression that their survival relies on the slaughter and collecting of the valuable bits and pieces of these animals, but that’s not just it.

On a day to day basis, we live in a manner that adds to this depletion of the population of certain species. We consume and digest and lay waste to so much of the natural resources this planet has to offer that we leave nothing for species other than our own and we wipe them off the face of this planet forever.

Forever.

As in, you will never, ever get a chance to see the African Western Black Rhino in person again.

Ever.

It’s gone.

I’m fucking pissed off.

Partly because I’m to blame.

As much as I’ve always loved animals, I’ve done nothing to help this preservation effort.

Partly because I had no idea.

Which I’m sure almost each and every one of you who reads this can attest to.

If something isn’t right there in our faces, we just simply have no idea.

Out of sight, out of mind, if you will.

Well you can trust me when I say that the health and well being of the remaining species on this planet will be in my heart and in my mind from now on and I will try my fucking best to be a part of ensuring that they have the chance to outlive the human race.

In fact, I’m going to take the cheque that I received from my parents for my birthday and donate 100% of it to the WWF and from now on, do so as regularly as I can afford.

And I urge you to please do the same.

There are a lot of things that are happening that are beginning to make me more and more sad and bringing me to a boiling point on a day to day basis, but honestly, not like this.

I’m past angry.

Tears are welling.

I feel sick.

I can’t honestly express a moment in my life that I’ve felt like this with regards to something that’s really happening and isn’t just something in a movie or here say or a biased point of view in a documentary.

Fact: Animals are being wiped off the face of this planet and we’re just letting it happen.

Not any more.

Not any fucking more.

Fox’s new show “New Girl” has to be one of my favourite TV shows on air right now and even more so, of all time.

You may say that it’s way too early to say that, seeing as it’s only been on for about 5 episodes, but I get this warm and fuzzy feeling every time I watch it and can’t help but fall in love with the damn thing!

Every 5 seconds I’m laughing about something and it catches me off guard.

I wonder “why am I laughing so much?”

“What have the writers done with this show that makes me feel this way?”

And I realize, while I’m sure the writers have a lot to do with it, I feel like a massive part of it is the actors. To me, it feels like these characters aren’t just characters. It feels like the actors are channeling a healthy portion of who they really are and infusing these characters with that. They aren’t trying to be funny as much as they are simply being.

At their core, they are, for lack of a better word, silly.

You know, silly.

That side that (most of) you only share with someone you’re really close to.

That side that makes you dance no matter how badly you may do so and sing just because you feel like it and do a random somersault into a jump kick because you can without a care in the world because you’re not being judged.

Only these actors, they’ve figured out a way to care less about who may or may not be judging them and don’t hide who they are and in turn, aren’t judged at all and instead they’re praised.

Or they are by me, at least, because I do care and I don’t want to. Sometimes I’ll fly off the handle and forget people are watching, but then I’m quickly reminded that they are when I get a “what the fuck is wrong with you?” glare, and I climb back in my shell, and do you know what the worst part about it is?

I give that same glare to others.

And do you know why?

Because I’m jealous.

I’m jealous that there’s this whole side of me that hardly anyone knows because I can’t seem to forget that they’re all watching and glaring and judging and ridiculing.

For those few seconds that I do manage to forget, though, I’m reminded of the first time I met my wife and we spent the day traveling around Louisville and when we stopped at this park, we just sat there basking in each others silliness and I felt so at home for the first time in forever.

Or maybe ever.

This is what “New Girl” does for me.

Makes me feel comfortable.

Warm and fuzzy.

It makes me want to hang out with the characters on this show because I know I could be myself around them.

So here’s to being me more often.

Here’s to being more often.

And here’s to rubbing off on others so that we can all share the real us and stop hiding.

Plus-size model Katie Halchishick in O Magazine.

“Beauty is not caused. It is.”

-Emily Dickinson

I feel sorry for those of you out there whose idea of beauty has been completely skewed by society and even more sorry for those who change their own image to fit that mould.

I remember back in the fifth grade, there was this girl that I had a crush on for at least three years. A skinny blonde thing who wanted nothing to do with me, but that didn’t stop me from wanting her. Hell, I even whipped up drawings of a couple smokin’ hot Mortal Kombat characters, cause, you know, fifth grade chicks were all about that.

Or so I assumed.

Apparently Kitana and Mileena didn’t do much for her, though, so after three years, I said fuck it and developed this new crush on another girl who was somewhat of an opposite to the blonde one. She wasn’t large, by any means, but she was bigger. Dark, short hair (and I mean short) and unlike the situation with the blonde, this other girl was interested in me, so we became an “item,” which in fifth grade terms didn’t mean much at all. Some empty promises of kisses behind the backstop and complete avoidance of each other.

You know.

The relationship isn’t the point of this story though.

The point is that I still remember a thought that I had when her and I first got into this thing and it went something like this:

“Aren’t I supposed to be with someone blonder? Someone skinnier? This can’t be my future.”

Isn’t that sad?

I mean, first of all, I thought this girl was forever, but second of all, I was 10 years old for Christ’s sake! I somehow already had it ingrained in my mind that I was supposed to park my Pink Cadillac in Barbie’s Dream House.

Not that blonde and skinny are undesirable traits. They are desirable. They just happen to be the most synonymous with this idea of female perfection that had been and continues to be illustrated by companies like Mattel and Playboy, just to name a couple.

Somewhere along the line my idea of the perfect woman changed, though. I’m not sure if it was in that moment or sometime later on as I don’t remember any kind of epiphany. I just know that there was a shift at some point.

I couldn’t tell you how many girls I had some kind of crush on throughout my adolescence, but I can tell you that the majority, if not all of them, weren’t all that concerned with their image and they definitely weren’t trying to walk in Barbie’s footsteps.

In fact, looking back on some of them, I must have been more attracted to their personality than anything because some of them weren’t even all that physically attractive.

But, they were beautiful and they weren’t even trying to be.

Beauty, after all, is accepting who you are and working it.

It is a fact that 80% of women in the US do not like how they look.

80 percent!

The number one desire of young women is to lose weight. Even when there’s not much weight left to lose.

Among children in grades 1 through 3, 48% want to be thinner. 50% of children between the ages of 8 and 10 are unhappy with their body size. Of those 10 year old children, 81% are afraid of becoming fat.

There is absolutely no harm in wanting to look beautiful. Hell, I want to look beautiful, even when I’m hanging around the apartment in my pyjamas.

The problem here is what you are basing your definition of beautiful off of.

If you spend all your time and effort trying to emulate something you saw in a fashion magazine or on a billboard, unless these advertisements are promoting health and wellness and illustrating this with a myriad of body shapes and sizes, you’re never going to be happy because you won’t even have the slightest idea who you are anymore. Not to mention you’ll end up attracting someone who wants you for who you want to be, not who you actually are.

So don’t be a part of that 80%.

Be proud of your image.

Be kind to your body.

Respect yourself and others will respect you.

The ones that matter will respect you.

And hopefully the rest will eventually start to matter as well.

Within the next couple weeks, the Earth’s population will hit 7 billion.

You may think that with so much unused space in places like Northern Canada and the plains of the U.S., to name a couple of examples close to home, that the population of the human race is not an issue, but at the moment, space has nothing to do with it. It’s the resources we consume and the waste that we produce that we need to think about.

So please, think about it.

I know this is coming off as preachy, and some (most) of you are probably rolling your eyes thinking you’re not even a part of the problem or “this world is going to shit anyways, so why bother” and that one person can’t make a difference, but none of this is true.

We are all a part of the problem.

Almost every bit of trash that goes into it’s designated receptacle and ends up in a landfill is part of the problem. This whole giving up on your species’s place in the history of this planet because everyone else seems to have is a massive problem. It’s cowardly and ignorant and it’s something I’ve been guilty of for a while now.

Sometimes, I can’t help but want to see civilization fall. Sometimes I want to accelerate it’s demise. I want to be a part of a Fight Club style movement that obliterates modern society so that it can be rebuilt in a new, better, more poignant state. I feel like we deserve it. Not all of us, of course, but those of us who know there’s a problem and ignore it and just keep on living a life of excess because it’s easier than fighting for a better tomorrow.

It’s hard not to feel this way.

Some people tend to believe that we are not animals, but with the way we live, we are more animalistic than any other species on this planet. If we truly believed that we had souls and that we had spirits and we wanted them to live on and thrive and end up inhabiting the places we dream of ending up, this is not the way to get there.

If you want to avoid revolt. If you want to avoid a completely uncivilized revolution where millions die just so that this change that was promised to us actually happens, then you have to Ghandi up and be the change you want to see in the world.

You don’t have to march in protest.

You don’t have to stop washing your hair.

You just have to stop and take a look at yourself and realize that you have to make some sacrifices. You have to evolve. You have to shift your mentality away from materialism and consumerism and adopt ideas that take you down a road of self-sustainability and zero population growth and responsibility for your actions and your words, two things we need to stop and think longer and harder about before we put them out into the world.

Start living with your heart and not your bank account.

Start producing your own food and limiting the amount of waste you produce.

Start lending a hand and more hands will be lent to you.

We are at a massive fork in the road right now and we have to choose wisely which avenue we are going to take.

To change or not to change, that is the new question, because being just isn’t working for us anymore.

On May 2, 2011 something happened that bore a massive deal of significance to the people of the United States, and furthermore, sent a shock wave around the planet, reaching even those currently residing underneath rocks, because, well, that’s how shock waves work.

Almost 10 years after his followers had sacrificed themselves for their own personal brand of “the greater good” by brutally and mercilessly shattering the hearts and unnerving the minds of the American people, the man we call Osama Bin Laden was gunned down by American soldiers in Abbottabad, Pakistan.

At the time, I was in the kitchen loading the dishwasher when Wolf Blitzer’s voice began beating against my ear drums from the other room. Now, there’s only two things that would make my wife change over to the evening news: a) the weather is taking a turn for the worse and we have to keep an eye out and make sure we remain in Kansas, or b) something serious is going down.

So I, of course, immediately step away from the dishwasher and squint at the TV screen (I have a bad habit of taking my glasses off and not putting them back on) and I see the headline reads “Osama Bin Laden Is Dead.”

My reaction was something akin to a Lil Jon sentiment, because all I could say was “What?!”

The babyface responded with an equally fitting “Yeah!”

And for me, that was that.

I think it was actually more of a “They’re still looking for him?” kind of reaction than anything.

To me, it wasn’t a cause for celebration.

Yes, I’m a Canadian and was living in the great white north when 9/11 went down, so it didn’t hit on a personal level like it would have if I were a bona fide American, but being that it happened only 950 miles (as the Boeing 767 flies) away, and that it happened to our big brother, no less, it shook us too.

I, too, clearly remember where I was when I heard and the emotion I felt when I did.

I remember skipping class and sitting in the sorry excuse for a cafeteria in my high-school when a guy named Rob Fugiel came in exclaiming that a plane had crashed into the World Trade Center.

I also remember not knowing what the World Trade Center was when he had said that.

I remember word spreading around the school very fast.

I remember classes stopping and everyone huddled into classrooms watching everything unfold on the news, surrounded by the sounds of gasps and cries, shock and awe.

I even remember feeling a twinge of restlessness.

Feeling unsafe.

Feeling uneasy and unsure of what was to come.

I felt it.

Regardless, almost 10 years later, retrospectively assessing my feelings of the death of Bin Laden, I realized what I didn’t feel was that any kind of justice was being served.

I didn’t view this assassination as any kind of victory.

Don’t get me wrong, I understand the significance.

He was the mastermind.

He guided those kamikaze terrorists to board those airplanes with the intention of doing nothing but seeing that they crashed, killing as many people as possible to send a grisly message to the people of the land of the free and the home of the brave.

For lack of an interest in finding a more suitable way of putting this: he sucked.

But ultimately, what has his death really done?

The way I see it, it only exacerbates terrorism.

If finding and killing this man was worth 10 years, two wars, nearly 1,000,000 innocent lives and over 1,000,000,000,000 dollars to the United States, imagine what he’s worth to the other side.

If they were willing to sacrifice their lives the way they did 10 years ago, then there’s no doubt in my mind that they’re willing to sacrifice a lot more in the days, weeks, months and years to come.

And this jubilation expressed by the American people?

This glee and celebration?

This gloating?

Aren’t we supposed to be above that?

I mean, I might not have lost anyone or even knew anyone who lost someone because of this man or any other being’s callous acts of terrorism, but gloating in the wake of the loss of any one’s life, man or woman, no matter how badly they may have broken your heart, and no matter how much innocence they may have robbed you of, is something we should all be ashamed of, or at the very least, seriously question if the celebration is warranted.

You can sit there and use the day-old excuse that we’re only human, but that, to me, is something we need to stop hiding behind, as if being a hominid is some type of malady.

Being human, as challenging as it may be, what with all of the overwhelming emotions and decisions we encounter, is an incredible blessing, not a curse.

We are not unavoidably plagued with the issues that present themselves along the paths we walk.

And do you know why?

We choose these paths.

Being human doesn’t automatically mean that they are chosen for us and we have to live with whatever chips fall in whatever fashion suits them.

We can deflect these chips.

We can arrange the crumbles when the cookie falls apart.

We can choose to walk another path if we don’t like the one we’re on.

A lot of us, however, stay on the path we’re already on, despite the fact that it’s not really going anywhere promising.

We stick with it and convince ourselves that it was the only one and then blame everything on the path instead of facing the music.

Something to the tune of “you are your own worst enemy.”

Sure, we want nothing more than the safety of our loved ones and justice being brought to those who harm them, but we’re also an intelligent species capable of rising above and figuring a way out of this infernal cycle we seem to adhere ourselves to entirely too comfortably.

In the immortal words of The Wilson Phillips, “break free from the chains”.

Instead of waiting for the moment that you’re forced to seek justice, why not do your part to prevent the lady ever be searched for at all?

Maybe its naive to think that we, as a race, can all accomplish some sense of happiness and freedom some day without causing any harm to anyone else along the way, especially when so many of us are on so many different pages with regards to our beliefs and our morals, causing an ever present sense of conflict, but as long as we can appreciate that we all believe what we do for us and leave others to believe what they do for them, it shouldn’t really matter what page we’re on as long as we all understand that we’re all reading the same book.

Something that I think is so beautiful about the human race is that we are all connected.

What I mean by this is that there’s a six degrees of separation, or a web of sorts, that each and every one of us on this planet is a part of. The idea here is that each of us knows someone who knows someone who knows someone, and eventually we could link every one of us together, and this has only become more and more apparent in recent years when considering the “people you may know” box on social networking sites.

I mean, by having a conversation with my photography teacher, I discovered that her son works at the White House and personally knows the President of the United States of America.

There are only two people between myself and the president of this country and three between myself and leaders of every other country in the world.

As large as this planet is and as many human beings as there are, it really is a small world (after all), and I think there’s beauty in the idea that because of this, we’re not only connected to those presently alive, but also to those who once were and the ones who have yet to be. When you consider this fact and you sit on it for a minute, you start to realize that this connection is more than just links in a chain, but that each link can, has and will offer something to each other link and that ultimately, this is what we, as the human race, do.

We exist to support and help each other understand the things that we can’t seem to work out for ourselves. Life is full of questions and no one person has the answer to every one of them (even though some people like to think they do) so we all do our best to find out what we can do to help, and ultimately, where our own link fits in this chain.

Like I mentioned in a previous post, by discussing religion with others, I’ve been able to figure out facets of my own beliefs that I previously didn’t know were there just by listening to what others have to say. It was ultimately a power of deduction kind of moment where because I could eliminate one possibility, it made the other possibilities stronger contenders.

Coming to the conclusion that we all have something to offer each other has given me this new found respect for humanity, because let’s face it, sometimes you meet people and really struggle with an answer as to what they ultimately contribute to society. You know, one of those “waste of oxygen” moments that skip through your brain when you’re confronted with someone completely unpleasant who doesn’t seem to get how fortunate they are just to be alive.

Normally I’ll feel guilty afterward for thinking anyone is undeserving of the air they breathe, but I think if I can keep in mind that we’re all on this planet for a purpose and we all have something to contribute, I might be able to bypass the thought and the guilt and respect the individual while in their presence instead of only giving them a chance retrospectively– when it’s too late. This, in and of itself, may very well be one reason people like this exist.

Regardless, I still wish it wasn’t so difficult for people to be more respectful and courteous and, well, pleasant.

I came to the conclusion the other day that this whole bashing of “the youth of today” by the older generations isn’t helping any. Just because kids are acting and doing things differently than the way you did when you were their age, it doesn’t mean they’re doing it wrong.

It just means they’re doing it differently.

To be honest, and maybe it’s because I’m still young myself and might even look younger than I actually am (without the beard, anyways), but in dealing with so many different people on a day to day basis, I find that it’s the youth who are the more pleasant ones. They have manners and tact and are appreciative when I help them out. They’re not impatient, stuck up or demanding and they don’t act like they know everything and that they’re always right. Not that all of you are guilty of this, but you older generations out there, you could actually probably learn a thing or two if you took the time to realize that the youth of today are actually shaping up to be decent human beings, something a lot of your parents didn’t get a chance to bestow upon you because things were so different when you were children.

But it’s not really your parents fault, is it? They may have raised you a certain way, but it’s you who hasn’t adapted.

You haven’t cared to change with the times.

You’re stuck in your old ways and the more things change, the more crotchety and disillusioned with the world you become and what kind of way to live is that?

Do you really want to spend your end of days bitter and resentful or would you rather take the time to realize that it’s you who made the world the way it is today. Every step and breath you took contributed to the state of society today, and if you think you’re a decent, level-headed, respectable human being, than all of these links that connect you with the youth of today should suggest to you that they’re one in the same. Of course, it could go the other way and you’ll come to the conclusion that all that’s wrong with the youth of today is your fault, but why be so negative?

In case you didn’t realize it, your children, grandchildren and great grandchildren are pieces of you.

The point here is the same idea that a lot of my posts try to get across and that is to be the best version of yourself that you can possibly be.

And this isn’t just for older generations, because despite my slight attack on the elderly, I’m not blind to the fact that there are a large percentage of youth out there who have no respect and just don’t care and these are the ones who need to hear this the most because they’re the future.

No matter who you are, your actions can be infectious, especially if you have any kind of social status. If people want to be around you, then people look up to you and if people look up to you, then people want to be like you, and if people want to be like you, you have to be a good person. Whether you like it or not, you have a responsibility to shepherd others towards a brighter future. You can sit there and say that you didn’t ask for anything like that and that it’s not your responsibility, but you’re wrong. You may not have asked for it, but if people are choosing to follow you, you do have a responsibility because where you’re going, they’re going too.

Sure, you could just shut everyone out and abandon your post, but then where do these people turn to?

“They can start to think and act for themselves and not rely on others to guide them through life.”

Well, yeah, but despite this idea of individuality and independence, everyone still needs a leader. They need someone to look up to and to take charge and motivate them when they’re struggling to find answers. They need someone to talk to when no one else will listen and a shoulder to cry on when no other shoulders are left.

If you’re that ear and that shoulder, soak it up.

Believe it or not, you have power.

You have influence.

People care what you have to say and care what you do.

So say and do the right things.

You can tell me that the term “right” is all relative, but deep down we all know what’s truly right and just from what’s just plain wrong.

Don’t we?